Me: ...you can either notice it looks like a dick, or ask for a bite, doing both just makes you look gay.
Fat Dude: Can I take you out some time?
Me: My legs don't spread that wide.
Dude: So... can we go out sometime?
Me: ...you're not David Bowie, so no.
Dude: Can I go out with you?
Me: I'm a dyke
Dude: How can you be sure? Have you ever been with a guy?
Me: Have you ever been with a guy?
Dude: So how about I take you out?
Me: I only date pre-operative asian transsexuals.
Dude: Can I have your number?
Me: 8 (allow for lengthy pause and turn away)
Dude: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes, her name is Vonka.
Dude: (at me and my girlfriend) Damn, what a waste.
Me: We're very efficient actually, I've had 56 orgasms today.
Dude: So why aren't you married?
Me: Because this state doesn't have same-sex marriage.
1 comment:
BLAH!
This just reminds me why I don't go to the bar!
Because we all know that men + alcohol + woman = oblivious fool.
And its disappointing because saying that your into girls usually brings you to a whole nother buffet of ignorant remarks and questions.
Next time I am in that sticky situation I will be sure to bust out some of your pick-down lines, since my technique usually just involves scarring the tits off the poor lads (comparing leg hair is my specialty).
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